I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize