That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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