I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I need to calm my uterus...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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