One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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