I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
