What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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