There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
