seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
