but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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