oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
