So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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