when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
