Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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