JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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