I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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