I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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