Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize