# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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