No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize