how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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