9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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