ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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