I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
