awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
