so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize