Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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