apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize