She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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