I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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