It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
