my sisters under your porch take her home
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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