Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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