I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
