Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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