Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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