I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
