i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
