I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
