He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
