I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
