Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
