Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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