you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
