I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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