We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
