if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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