I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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