Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
