May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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