As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
