you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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