dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
