recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
