Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
