we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
