i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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