SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
