singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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