Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
