Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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