There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
there is glitter all over my balls
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
