Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just forgot I was standing up.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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