cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
areolas are like halos for boobs.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
