Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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