I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
false alarm, still single
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