You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
