"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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