i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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